Tuesday 14 June 2011

Taking Initiative

Quite often I (and many other guys I'm sure) get complained for not making the first move or taking the initiative, but there is a very good reason - when we do and we often get SHOT DOWN we just start to not bother.

One good example is when texting someone. I admit I sometimes let the other person initiate the conversation all the time, and use this as a way to determine how interested they are in talking to me. If they constantly text me first, I can tell they're still interested in talking to me. The fact that I don't text first doesn't mean I'm not at all interested in talking to them. I will reply to them and keep the conversation going (as best as I can) and will be interested in texting them too! I will sometimes even go out of my way to reply in places where I'm not supposed to!

As per my previous blog post, conversations/friendships tend to die down over time, and this is a good way to gauge just where things are at and whether your friendship is about to die!

I usually find when it starts to cool down and things are in reverse and I'm the one initiating the conversation, I don't get replies till the cows come home or I will get short and brief replies, and I'll be the one left to carry the conversation forward...if I can be bothered. If I can't be bothered then we just stop talking.

Another example would be meeting up with a friend. When a friend asks you if you want to hang out or catch up, you'll tend to go out of your way to be able to accommodate their request. You'll skip something you originally planned to do just to hang out with them. When you initiate and ask the friend if they want to hang out, they'll say they can't because of one reason or another.

Therefore if we constantly get kicked in the balls whenever we try initiate/make the first move, why bother?

There was a good quote I got from Twitter this morning:

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them."

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