If my surgery wasn't postponed I would've had it yesterday. By now I would have been lying in a hospital bed with a swelled-up jaw. Instead I was stuck at home, slowly being transformed into a housewife.
A friend of mine asked me why I'm not freaked out at having bits of my jaw sliced and being in the hands of the doctors. I probably will get freaked out closer to the surgery date! Right now though to me it just presents itself as an opportunity to correct one of my many imperfections and have a second chance. Don't you hate thinking about just how many imperfections you have? I wish I wasn't as short and didn't have a cross bite, glasses and curly hair when it grows long. My cross bite probably stands out the most. I remember back at intermediate school when we had a lesson on disabilities or differences or something like that, and I stupidly pointed out my cross bite. I then had the naughty kids imitating it, albeit trying to do it in a friendly, teasing way (I think...sorta hard to read those guys!) I also look really weird in photos which isn't..good either!
We're all different though and we probably should accept our differences and the things that make us unique. When you're one of a few with the difference though the feeling of abnormality and inferiority sets in leaving you feeling vulnerable and weaker than the others, as you constantly ask yourself whether your difference affected your chances in whatever you were pursuing. This probably isn't making any sense and is a sad, shoddy attempt at scratching the surface of being something meaningful but oh well!
Anyway, another transformation of sorts has been taking place. Yesterday saw me hang out the clothes, try tidy up the lounge once again, wash the dishes and drive to pick Aonghas up from school (with my mum beside me of course!). I'm being domesticated, and am slowly transforming into a housewife (just no husband)! All I need to make it complete is to learn how to cook! I'm going to give baking a cake a go today though and Szelin my neighbour has offered to teach me how to cook some vegetarian dishes once she has finished her exams.
Tonight at church we had a little gathering to sort out what musical instruments would be required for the Christmas concert. For the past day and a bit I've been trying to learn the clarinet in anticipation of it being needed. I managed to get half way through learning all the notes. It turned out it wasn't needed though.
One of the problems with the small little group playing music for the Christmas service is that it is an assortment of random musical instruments. It would've been far better if we had a group made up of musicians who were all playing instruments from the same family to at least give a similar sound. Instead we've got a flute, violin, occasional trumpet, accordion and recorders in three sizes. It'll nonetheless be an interesting experience..
One of the church guys tonight asked me as soon as I came in
"Hey Calum. Did you change your hairstyle?"
I told him I didn't and that I hadn't had a haircut in several months. My hair is kinda straight when it's not too long but when it gets longer it gets curlier, so he must've thought I had done something with my hair!
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