A little soppy but did anyone see the ending of Scrubs last night? Wouldn't you just hate being in that position where your best friend, and the one you possibly still love dedicates her life to someone else and you realise it should've been you but it's too late? Man I hope that's not me in a few years time!
Anyway I've been reading the $108 psychology book I bought for one paper (stupid stupid me...but it's an interesting, albeit expensive read!) and there's this chapter on attractiveness and love which is interesting. I'll try summarise the part on attractiveness.
Apparently there are several factors in interpersonal attraction:
- Proximity: Many studies have shown that people tend to choose their friends and lovers from people nearby. Proximity also plays an important part in romantic relationships, in that it allows people to get to know one another better. However, increased proximity with a person who you initially dislike may lead you to dislike them even more! Environmental spoiling is when you gradually dislike someone over time despite initially liking them.
- Interpersonal Rewards: The second factor is how rewarding we find interacting with another person to be. The more people associate a relationship with reward, the more likely they are to affiliate (behaviourist point of view). According to social exchange theories, people try to maximise the value they can obtain with their resources. In other words, choosing a relationship is like trying to maximise the return from your investment. In romantic relationships, people tend to choose others of similar value because both partners are trying to maximise the value of their mate.
- Similarity: People tend to choose friends, acquaintances, mates and best friends who share similar attitudes, values and beliefs. As for 'opposites attract', while people tend to like those who have similar attitudes and values, they prefer people whose resources, needs or behavioural styles complement their own, e.g. a dominant person would prefer a submissive person and vice versa.
- Physical Attractiveness: Probably the most important factor. Even in non-sexual relationships, physically attractive people are magnets. Physically attractive people tend to be more popular than others, receive more cooperation and assistance from others, better job recommendations and higher pay than less attractive people.
Why does physical attractiveness play a part in interpersonal attraction?
Research suggests that there is an area in the brain called the ventral striatum that is activated whenever one makes eye contact with a physically attractive individual. When eye contact is broken, the activity in that area of the brain decreases. This particular area of the brain is associated with reward. Therefore, making eye contact with a physically attractive person stimulates activity in the reward centre of the brain, while loss of eye contact with an attractive person decreases activity and also reward.
Because only a small portion of people find themselves in the best part of the bell-curve of attractiveness, how do the rest of us find dates?
In reality, people follow the matching hypothesis. We choose partners who we perceive to be equally attractive to ourselves, not necessarily the most beautiful or handsome. One set of studies demonstrated that men tend to choose partners who they perceive to be equally attracted to themselves in order to decrease the likelihood of being rejected.
I'll post up the psychological perspective on love next time!
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