Finally we've made it to that day...
Skip to the part that applies to you:
>>To happily married couples:
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
I wish you all the best today! I'm glad you all have that found someone special who makes you happy! Make sure you let them know how much you love them! Just don't do it in this way!
Dear Bertha,
I lack the bravery and endurance requisite to face you with my feelings, so I am writing this letter to you in the hopes that you can read it. I remember the first time I saw you. I don't know if I was attracted to you because of your radiant personality, your sunny disposition, or your gravitational pull. All I know is that once I got close to you, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't leave. And I think back to some of the trials and tribulations in our relationship. Like that time you tried on that thong bikini you said you would look terrible in. I'm truly impressed by the bravery it took to even try it in light of how right you were. And I know it makes you uncomfortable that I sometimes hang out with your ex, but your cousin and I hardly ever discuss you and when we do, it is always positive. Every day while I am working in the sewage treatment plant, all I can think of is you. When I found that ring I gave to you floating through, I knew it must have been divine intervention that had kept us together so long. When I talk to my friends about you, they all agree, you're 'a whole lot of woman.' I couldn't have said it better myself.
With what I think is probably love,
Bryant
(http://www.rom101.com/storyview.jsp?storyid=276)
I lack the bravery and endurance requisite to face you with my feelings, so I am writing this letter to you in the hopes that you can read it. I remember the first time I saw you. I don't know if I was attracted to you because of your radiant personality, your sunny disposition, or your gravitational pull. All I know is that once I got close to you, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't leave. And I think back to some of the trials and tribulations in our relationship. Like that time you tried on that thong bikini you said you would look terrible in. I'm truly impressed by the bravery it took to even try it in light of how right you were. And I know it makes you uncomfortable that I sometimes hang out with your ex, but your cousin and I hardly ever discuss you and when we do, it is always positive. Every day while I am working in the sewage treatment plant, all I can think of is you. When I found that ring I gave to you floating through, I knew it must have been divine intervention that had kept us together so long. When I talk to my friends about you, they all agree, you're 'a whole lot of woman.' I couldn't have said it better myself.
With what I think is probably love,
Bryant
(http://www.rom101.com/storyview.jsp?storyid=276)
(By the way if you go to Rutherford College, please your missus for only $1.50 by buying a rose and getting it delivered to her! ;) )
>>To single people out there like me:
HAPPY TUESDAY
For some reason we need a day for people to express their love to their significant other. As if they don't have the whole year to do it! If you truly love someone, you should show your love constantly throughout the year, not just pile it all on and try to make up ground on Valentine's Day! Pffft we're better off with this over-commercialised day celebrating some saint who died in the end anyway!
We shall overcome single people! Here's a quick survival guide to Valentine's Day:
ClamWEB's V-Day 12-Step Program for non-daters
For some reason we need a day for people to express their love to their significant other. As if they don't have the whole year to do it! If you truly love someone, you should show your love constantly throughout the year, not just pile it all on and try to make up ground on Valentine's Day! Pffft we're better off with this over-commercialised day celebrating some saint who died in the end anyway!
We shall overcome single people! Here's a quick survival guide to Valentine's Day:
ClamWEB's V-Day 12-Step Program for non-daters
Here's a quick guide to surviving Feb. 14 without ripping your hair out - or other people's hair, for that matter!
- Wear black, and lots of it.
- If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional.
- Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items like pins.
- Later in the day, eat the chocolate, run the flowers through a food processor, and beat the cr@p out of the singing telegram people. (Most people will thank you for this, anyway).
- For the rest of the day, labor over the effect all that chocolate is gonna have on your waistline.
- Return home and destroy at least one item given to you by an ex. Feel guilty. Call the ex. Make up story about having a hot date.
- Watch TV. Turn off TV after noticing every channel is airing a clone of "While You Were Sleeping," "Titanic," or, worse yet, a "Friends" Valentine's Day.
- Realize how lame not having a hot date is. Head to bar.
- Plot massive torture of anyone who shows up at the bar with a date. Slow torture if the couple is in anything above semi-formal dress.
- Massive quantities of alcohol. Beergoggling. Wake up next to someone - male or female - with way too much facial hair.
- Remember (and regret) this incident for the next 364 days. Complain about never having a good V-Day.
- Wait until some bizarre calendar date Hallmark has labeled "Sweetest Day." Rinse, lather, repeat to get in practice for next V-Day.
Note: If "Titanic" is on, it can be therapeutic. But only if you only watch the part where Leonardo DiCaprio sinks like a big, wet, adorable, lead anvil to the bottom of the North Atlantic! Same goes for the end of "Romeo + Juliet."
(http://www.geocities.com/adammusic//poems.html)
Our day comes soon:
>>SINGLES AWARENESS DAY - 15th February<<
Mark it in your diary!
Mark it in your diary!
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