It was the controversial Boobs on Bikes Parade in the city today. Now before you ask me if I skipped my lecture to go perve, the answer is of course not! It was all just a coincidence!! I just happened to be at the Kiwibank ATM machine getting more money to buy some stuff at the 'Lost and Found' Sale going on at the Quad (all items that hadn't been collected in the past three months were being sold off, including textbooks and electronic Chinese dictionaries!! And I needed cash!!!) and then saw all these people standing along the side walk of Queen St waiting for the parade to begin, so yours truly, on behalf of the Democratic Republic of Calum decided to investigate..not what was on parade (I couldn't see!!), but to see the other side of the parade - the perves!
When everyone realised that the parade was going to go up Wellesley St rather than down along Queen St, the masses began flocking up Queen St to get a glimpse of the boobs and ...bikes?? The range of perves out there was amazing. Earlier in the day I had seen high school students (won't mention which schools they were from *Massey* and *EGGS*) wandering along in the city. Some of the onlookers included roadworkers who were supposed to be working on Queen St, office workers, little kids, old men, old women, Asians (they were the ones who tended to have cameras with them..how convenient!) and even little kids.
This is contrary to what mayor Dick Hubbard told Paul Holmes on Newstalk ZB this morning, something along the lines of
"I'm sure some of the Asians, people of other cultures and students will find this offensive"
Yet many of the onlookers and photo-snappers were Asians and students!
Here are a collection of quotes I heard amongst the perves:
"WOOOOOOAHHHHH!!!! LOOK AT THOSE!" - Young little Samoan boy with jumbo-sized Wendy's drink as he dashed to the parade
"I don't know if I would do that...Maybe if my parents didn't know..." - One girl to another
"I should've bought a cow udder and squirt milk all over them <insert sleazy laugh>" - One horny guy to another
"Did you see those boobs? They were horrible!!" - An office worker
Extensive coverage, including photos of perverts (with their eyes blacked out to conceal their identities) can be found HERE