Pharmacy Pick-up Lines

Some pharmacy pick-up lines I came across (excuse the spelling errors, it's been copy+pasted!):

1. Your the Na to my Cl.

2. I'm like a cation and your a anion so lets get together.

3. Your a group one metal so you know were soluble.

4. Wanna go share some valance electron so we can obey the octect rule.

5. I'm just a single electron in the s orbital, will you be the other electron to fill my subshell?

6. Hey, I'm like acetaminophen I'll make sure all your pains go away when we're together.

7. I was going to use atropine drops for my eye exam tomorrow but a picture of yourself has enough beauty to dilate my pupils and removed my eye pain.

8. If I could be any enzyme I would be depantsanase so I could catalyze the reaction of you removing your clothes.

9. Baby I'm like HCL and your pepsinogen, when we're together i'm make sure to cleave you to your active form so we can digest some protiens.

10. I'm like an antigen and your IgG so why don't you act like an opsonin to facilitate some serious phagocytosis.

11. Your like a biological membrane and I'm a drug with a high partition coefficient, so you know my high lipophilicity will increase our duration of action.

12. Baby I'm like a large amount of potassium and you're a cell so you know when I'm around your more likely to reach your action potential.

13. Baby I'm like light mineral oil (an emollient), I'll always give a soothing feel and constantly leave you feeling smooth when I'm in your suspension.

14. Baby we're like enantiomers when we're together we're exact mirror images, just different optical rotations but we can correct that problem tonight.

15. Baby I forsee you not as a o/w emulsion but a I/you emulsion.

16. Baby I'm like a flocculating agent, I'll make sure to bind to you so we can settle even faster to my place.

17. We're like the ingredients to an ointment so let's pretend my bed is an ointment tile and partake in some triturating.

18. Are you a cytokine? Because I couldn't help but notice you were recruiting my inflammatory cells towards you.

19. Baby why don't we skip this Go phase and go straight to the M phase, I mean we're both like labile cells right (aka ready for cell proliferation).

20. Baby I'm like Glucuronic conjugation, here to give you some more sugar (glucose) and transfer my activated conj. group to you using a transferase enzyme.

21. Baby I'm like a subcutaneous injection so let's skip the small talk and let me get under your skin so I can absorb even faster.

22. Let's pretend you and I are benzene rings and form a polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbon this way we can skip numbing the ring junction and get closer to those double bonds.

23. Baby I can sense your occipital lobe going crazy when your looking at me all the way form the other side of the room so lets go back to my place and work out our parietal lobe.

24. Baby why don't we follow pseudoplastic flow and relive this viscosity between us by heading back to my place and increasing our shering rate all night long.

25. Hey baby you look like you have a wild type allel in you, wanna go find out if we have dominant inheritance by making a punnett square, without a chart the old fashion way?

26.When you're with me there's no need for your S.A. node because I'll make sure you heart rate is always up, all the way to the purkinje fibers

27. hey baby I'm like the sympathetic nervous system, I'll make sure your heart rate is always up when we're together

28. You must be a type 3 anti arrhythmic like Amiodarone cause you always cause my heart to beat irregularly when your around.

29. Baby can you feel the electricity in the air? Cause I think your voltage gated channels are about to open and cause us to reach our action potential.

30. Hey baby, I'm like Mannitol I'll always leave you with a pleasant taste and cooling sensation when I'm taken orally.

31.Baby i'm like a prodrug if you swallow me i'll make sure we're metabolized into an active form

32. Baby i'm like sugar, I give you a cool and sweet feeling when taken orally

33. Baby we're like two eutectic drugs, you know when we're mixed together by trituration we'll both turn into a uniform liquid

34. Baby you're like NAM and I'm NAG so let's pretend we're a bacterial cell wall and from some peptidoglycan bond this way we can be both rigid and flexible when we get back to my place

36. Baby I'm like a SSRI antipsychotic, I'll make sure you're sane when you're with me, however a common side affect is an increase of stereotypic sexual behavior when you're in my presence.

37. I want to be your blastocyst so I can get into your uterus and grow inside of you - (Jinesh)

38. Baby I'm like Efavirenz, if you take me at night I can greatly decrease your chance of nightmares, but you still may have strong vivid dreams about me, a very common side effect

39. You must be a CYP450 inhibitor cause every time I look at you I can tell that there's going to be increased levels of me in you when I get metabolized by you tonight.

40. You looked stressed but don't worry just take some Me++ tonight, an enhanced Mg++ supplement that will slow down all your processes tonight and surly relax you.

41. Looks like your suffering form acidosis, why don't you come back to my place so I can cause some hyperventilation and we can lower those acidic levels.

42. You must be on Effexor, cause I can tell your addictive impulsive behavior of taking me home tonight is increasing.

43. Are you rich in sodium? Cause it seems like osmotic pressure brought me over to you, but no worries we'll help decrease those sodium level through perspiration tonight.

44. I must have a low creatinine clearance cause I can't seem to get you out of my system.

45. You must be Sodium cause I can already see myself having hypernatremia later on tonight.

46. I think i need a ACE inhibitor cause I feel my heart getting congested and failing when you're around

47. You know you might wanna take some beta-blockers tonight to help lower your heart rate cause I have a feeling your oxygen demand is gonna be way over your oxygen supply and your heart rate is gonna be off the meters.

48. Excuse me can I bother you for an aspirin tablet to chew? Cause just looking at you from across the room is giving me some heart related pains in my chest

(Courtesy of The Pharmacy/Science Pick Up Line Association Facebook group)