大家早上好。我叫安天慈,(Good
morning everyone. My name is An Tian-Ci), or as most of you know me, Calum. I
feel like I’ve been a Christian since I was very young, having attended my
grandma’s church when I was a little child, and attending weekly Bible classes
at primary school. For several years though, I attended Chinese school on
Sunday mornings, and so I stopped going to church.
Eventually I stopped going to Chinese school on Sundays, and
started enjoying Sunday morning cartoons at home. It wasn’t until another
mother at the music school we attended suggested this nearby Chinese church to
my mum. Thanks Stephanie and Vanessa's mum! My mum thought it would be a good idea to attend, so that we could not
only learn more about God, but also improve our Chinese!
Having only just started high school, I was thrown right
into the deep end, attending Sunday School class with teenagers who were almost
four or five years older than me. I didn’t understand anything. I didn’t
understand anyone. As we were the new family at the church, and were not quite
Chinese enough to mix with others, we became Sunday Christians.
We were like that for a few years. We attended church and
Sunday School on Sundays, then went home. Sure, we believed in God, we followed
his ways, and we had a Bible, but it wasn’t a major part of our lives. I
remember how a couple of my best friends at high school would spend a lot of
their spare time at church, and would wonder to myself, how can you spend so
much time at church?
I guess back then, I had many questions. I’m someone who
doesn’t like to leave anything down to chance. I wanted an answer for
everything. Things pertaining to God were things I couldn’t explain. I thought
that I should believe in God just in case he really did exist! I tried to have
my foot in both camps. I thought, that if I chose to be ignorant of all
arguments against Christianity and just believed whatever I was told at church
and by others, then that would be fine.
I would try find a compromise for arguments against
God.
Up to that point, whenever people commented on my
personality or on what I was like, they would ask if I was Christian. This
displeased me, as I felt the way I was, was just that – a reflection of who I
was, and of my upbringing. I didn’t understand why everything had to be
attributed to religion.
Ultimately, all these uncertainties about God led me to hide
my faith from others. I prefer to avoid confrontation, and debates about heated
issues I feel I am not knowledgeable about, such as religion. I had many
non-Christian friends, many who were passionate atheists. I’m sure they
would’ve respected my views, but it was just something I didn’t want to talk
about. I would avoid telling anyone I was a Christian, for fear of being
judged.
It was not until the Oddfellows English youth group was
established that God started playing a more influential role in my life. God
finally started to open my eyes, and made me realise that I’m not alone. There
were others my age who believed in God! Being around others who were of a
similar age to me, being able to discuss issues that affected us…in English,
having fun and the support and encouragement we gave each other – it all helped
me become more comfortable with my faith.
Funnily enough, it was an Oddfellows picnic at Cornwall Park
when I first realised, I have nothing to hide. After a day of playing games
involving dress-ups and other random activities at the park with other youth
group members, I came home and the first thing I did was jump on Facebook and
came out of the closet. I declared to the world in my profile that I AM A
CHRISTIAN!
I have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, today I realise
more than ever that Christianity and God has shaped my life more than anything.
The way I am, the wonderful family and friends I have, where I am right now and
what I am doing, it is all God’s work. I have developed a passion for serving
the church, especially in the music field and with children. The people at this
church have all helped me navigate my Christian life.
I have been contemplating my future career path, asking
myself what really matters? What can I do to make a difference in this world? Regardless
of how big or small the difference I make, I know God has a plan and he will
guide me along that path as long as I obey Him and His word.
The Experiencing God programme that I am currently doing
with a few others has challenged me to rethink my relationship with God. I have
come to realise, when you have a relationship with God, it is all or
nothing. You can’t pick and choose what
you want to believe. You can’t be selective, and you can’t have it both ways.
This has been a struggle for me at times, and something I am constantly working
on.
I’ve always thought of baptism is something you do to show
that you are, or have become the perfect Christian. That is why it has taken me
so long to get to this point!
We will never be ready though. We will never will be perfect
in God’s eyes. Then again, baptism isn’t an endpoint, but the beginning of a
new chapter in one’s relationship with God. It is to show one’s dedication of
their life to God. While I may still not be the perfect Christian, and I still
sometimes have questions, I believe I am ready to dedicate my life to Him.
谢谢。 (Thank you).
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